Mother's Day Is Right Around The Corner
This coming weekend is Mom's day and this time I'm not all melancholy or sad about my mom's passing. I do find it sad that I have absolutely no ties to any of my family members and think it's sad that things could have gotten so bad all over a political gaff and snarky remark. In my early teen days, my bro and sis used to get dragged everywhere with me because mom and dad were stuck working and couldn't afford care peeps to step in. Yup, it was all me.. the dishwasher, laundry dude, the supper maker, the homework helper etc. Nope, I wasn't some kind of saint so don't be putting me on on some kind or pedestal. I had my share of crazy drinking and pot smoking nights when I just had to get away from absolutely everything and everyone I called family.
I had no intention of being a 24 hour care giver at age 17 when I had my own life to life but I still got by.
So this year instead of being all mushy and stuff I'm thankful for the upbringing I had and thankful that I learned to grow up at a very early age making my own life decisions. (Thanks Mom!). I never did have much of a father per-se so that lady was the do all in my case. Since their pot and cocaine addicted father was never around I guess that made me the substitute instead.
Now here we all all these years later through all the dramas and crap and just when you think you got it all down you wake up one morning and realize that you have no longer have any connection to the people you thought were your family. Sure I might be one of a kind in that regard because they all came from different marriages and fathers but it seemed really odd how not even a birthday or Christmas greeting in over a year makes you realize the lack of importance in it all. When I moved to California I was 3100 miles away and only got the rare phone call or card for three years. Then moved back and felt not much less distant living right in the same state only to be changed again with the move to Texas. So WTF, big deal so what... They never paid my rent, or bought my food, or stood there in support during my times of need. Should I really feel sad over the way things have become at this time or take it as a blessing. Less money on gifts, less energy wasted on family drama and certainly no more disappointment.
So yeah, happy Mother's Day! Thanks Mom for all you taught me and sorry I couldn't have passed it on better to your other kids and grandkids. I know all too well about the 'hard school of knocks' and now they can enjoy experiencing it too.
Right now I'm staying busy rebuilding a hand-me-down iMAC, filtering all the bundles of crap saved from the Priscilla RV still cluttered in the back yard and taking a moment to appreciate my own self worth and my recovery from one of the most darkest times of my life. Yeah, this memorial day weekend makes it 15 years that I was in Parkland Hospital in a coma after being hit by a drunk on my motorcycle. I guess in many ways I was able to beat all the odds but in the process of the hard road of recovery I learned more about the human element than expected. As you know, opinions are like assholes cuz everyone's got one. Why do so many seek approval from others in their choices? What benefit does this create? In my case not doing so gives me extra power to focus forward rather than the spectators around me.
In any case reader, (I doubt anyone's out there) take it all in stride and do an inventory of yourself now and then. Do it alone and quietly and it may very well help you in your future travels. Blessings and Peace OUT Y'all...
|
No comments:
Post a Comment